Abandonment Storyline: Root Cause of Abandonment
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With an abandonment core wound, there’s a deep fear of loss that will underlie anything or anyone that requires a commitment from you. Abandonment arises from the fear that you’ll lose love, so rather than committing, you’ll talk yourself out of committing before you even begin because you’re afraid you will lose the love you allow in. Remember, love takes all forms including money, opportunities, good health and people to name a few.
The abandonment core wound storyline typically begins before you’re born. In the split second that you go from existing as the energy of unconditional love connected to the fabric of the Universe, to being incarnated into a human body, you enter a dualistic environment here on Earth.
While the duality might be more apparent in relation to you and things outside of you, the true dualistic nature is with you and yourself, your light and your shadow, your mind and your heart, and ultimately your body and your soul. The very nature of duality can serve as a distraction that keeps you focused on things and people outside of you, rather than your own internal spiritual journey.
Once you begin turning your focus within to understand yourself on a deeper level, duality slowly dissolves into clarity. Once you understand yourself on the most intimate level, your awareness heightens to that of the whole universal consciousness and esoteric concepts and inner knowledge become clearer.
The moment you become aware that you are alive, your journey through consciousness begins by working through the three major healing phases in your spiritual journey. Each healing phase consists of a major storyline that you’ll be learning from that will take you from feeling abandoned to fully loved and supported. We are going to discuss all three in this blog.
Healing phases are internal processes of transformation. When you heal yourself on the inside, you unravel the storyline about what you believe is possible for you. Everything you believe between day one of your life and age seven is a life story that was created FOR you by your karma, family and ancestral ties, community and environment.
Unraveling storylines means that you begin to question what you believe is possible, which changes your outside circumstances without you even trying. The simple act of healing your internal soul story shows you what you’ve been missing out on in the outside world. You quickly learn what is actually possible.
Phase 1: Healing a Fallen Angel
To heal a core wound of abandonment, we need to look at healing the fallen angel storyline. The Fallen Angel storyline is initiated when you realize that you feel cast out, and rejected by your tribe. This is an internal feeling of emptiness, loneliness and disconnect. It’s a disruption of the flow state where things feel slow, stale and stagnant. It’s when someone goes from feeling cast out, and rejected by their tribe to becoming aware of the feeling for the first time. Feeling cast out actually stems from a deep feeling of disconnect from your creator, which is the energy of unconditional love.
This is triggered in childhood and lasts until adulthood, though that timeline varies greatly depending on the person. I have seen people in their twenties recognize this feeling of disconnect, while I didn’t realize it until my late thirties and others I’ve worked with didn’t recognize it until their fifties and sixties.
Your tribe is everyone and everything in your immediate environment. It’s your support system including family, friends, community and the environments you reside in and interact with.
Many people refer to this feeling as the “black sheep.” In this energy, your ego begins searching for a reason for being cast out by those who claim to love you unconditionally, rather than searching within for the source of the disconnect.
When the ego searches externally for a reason, it’s looking to understand the source of the disconnect. This external search always ends in blame and finger pointing which causes tumultuous relationships, and an inability to make a commitment. This is where the runaway archetype emerges.
The runaway archetype runs from commitment because it values freedom. You interpret commitment as a request to strip you of your rights, rather than an invitation to open your heart fully. Opening your heart fully would require vulnerability and if you have an abandonment core wound, you’ve been abandoned when you needed someone most and you fear experiencing this again. So… rather than subject yourself to it, you commit only as far as you’re comfortable before you move on.
If this sounds like you, you’ll have trouble taking responsibility, making a commitment and grounding into your power because the feeling of burden or responsibility outweighs how much benefit you believe you’ll receive. If the cost outweighs the benefit, you won’t do it. The problem with this archetype is that it has a skewed sense of the word freedom. Freedom is a FEELING that cannot be found externally, including in your commitments. It’s allowing yourself to live authentically, being open and honest with yourself about who you are and what you need and want. If you can learn to live unapologetically, the feeling of freedom grounds into your personality and identity, making it easier for you to show up authentically, consistently and eventually, making a commitment to yourself.
Those of us moving through the Fallen Angel storyline are here to heal ancestral wounds and repair the tapestry of the Universe that was damaged by the deep division of duality on Earth. Only the strongest souls become aware of the pattern and actively work to end toxic cycles and heal their relationship with themselves and ultimately others.
Phase 2: Learning to Rise
The learning to rise phase of the journey awakens the desire to fix the awareness gained during the fallen angel phase. It’s like the Phoenix realizing that it has outgrown its old body and is ready to burn in order to rebirth and rise better than ever from the ashes. It’s recognizing that there’s a disconnect and beginning your quest to repair it.
When you fear losing something or someone, your root chakra is imbalanced. Root chakra is the first chakra and the one responsible for your foundations, including your blood and your bones. It governs the stability, safety and security you feel, including how grounded you feel on Earth. The less grounded you are, the more imbalanced the root chakra tends to become which makes it nearly impossible to move forward with goals. You need the energy of the Earth to support your initiatives. Then, you need to heal your internal pain in order to ground into your own power. That’s what the learning to rise phase is all about.
If you have an abandonment core wound, you may burn a lot of bridges. I call this the Phoenix Syndrome. The Phoenix syndrome is the inability to properly regulate your energy levels, causing you to get so burnt out, you desire to burn everything you created down to the ground and start over. Phoenix syndrome takes the internal feeling of fire and searches externally for inspiration, and magic, which can only be created within.
Signs and Symptoms of abandonment core wound. What are the symptoms of abandonment trauma?
If you have an abandonment core wound, you’ll resonate with most, if not all of the statements below.
Abandonment Wound Signs
1. I have a fear of loss (Someone, Something)
2. I have a fear of losing myself
3. I tend to attach to people in unhealthy ways and with poor or no boundaries (Think about whether one or more of your parents was emotionally ‘unavailable’ when you needed them)
4. I have co-dependent tendencies
5. I fear intimacy and opening my heart fully to someone
To resolve an abandonment core wound, it’s important to take stock of where you feel “off track” in your life and begin to identify patterns of self-sabotage (like going out instead of doing your work with a deadline looming) and begin to understand what you’re CHOOSING to do instead of committing. The power with this wound is in your power of conscious choice. You don’t need to commit to everything, but you do need to understand what and who you truly want to commit to and begin to unravel the pattern by making different choices.
Phase 3: Becoming Angelic Badass
Angelic Badass is what I call someone that has risen above the confines of the mind and the storylines we incarnate into through healing their abandonment wound and learning to write their own soul story from a place of fully embracing their power!
To rise into the embodiment of an Angelic Badass, you become crystal clear on who you truly are and how you want to make meaning in your life, then you take unapologetic action in that direction.
A “fairytale life” is a life that you create, by your design. It represents a deep commitment to honor your needs, follow your inspiration and live your life from a place of integrity and clear communication. Loving yourself enough to honor your boundaries and learning to balance your logic and intuition to move forward confidently will help you establish a strong emotional foundation for your life.
Once your abandonment wound is healed, your beliefs reflect your clear boundaries and a new state of BEing in the flow, without the self-doubt, burnout and disconnect that left you feeling empty inside.
Based on these 5 statements, do you have an abandonment core wound? Comment below and let me know. I always value and appreciate reading your comments!
AREN’T YOU OVER THE EXHAUSTION, OVERWHELM AND BURNOUT? If you’re truly ready to live a life that isn’t dependent on what others want from you and learn to shift into someone who powerfully takes care of yourself and others with more energy and joy, then get on a call with me.
I will take you over the 3 shifts you need to make to stop the people-pleasing and activate your true power so you can manifest what you love, rather than what you fear!
If you’re truly ready to rise up into your authentic power, book a dream life chat with me and let’s get you out of this draining cycle.
All my Love,
Felicia
